Why I created flexibend: chronic pain sucks

For most of my life, I’ve been in pain. Not the kind that puts you in the hospital. The kind that lingers quietly in the background of everything like blowdrying my hair, unloading the dishwasher, preparing dinner, cleaning the house… until eventually it just becomes your “normal.” I’m not formally diagnosed with anything, but that doesn’t negate from the fact that i am constantly feeling off in my body.

For me, it’s mostly in my upper back and traps. A deep, heavy, constant ache that occasionally spikes into something sharp and radiating. Sometimes it feels bruised to the touch. Sometimes it just feels like my spine is achey. The pain changes, but it never really leaves. It’s actually very hard to describe the pain i am in since it does change and can disappear as quickly as it seems to appear. it’s not on a 1-10 scale. i hate the ambiguity of those stupid pain scales.

When I was 19, I saw my first chiropractor. He cracked my back tried to sell me some supplements and told me I probably needed to eat more protein. Honestly, fair. I probably did need to eat more protein. The adjustments felt good in the moment, and my dad would make yummy chicken dishes (i remember he went out and bought a lot chicken for me) but nothing really changed long-term.

I’ve also done deep tissue massage (loved it), foam rolling (which actually once injured me so badly it looked like whiplash on an X-ray), and every “you should try this” suggestion under the sun. Some of it helped. Most of it didn’t. I’ve even tried yoga but that has left me hurt for days too. for the record, i was already in pain when i foam rolled and since then have learned proper techniques. thanks youtube.

The hardest part is that I look fine. I “function.” In fact, i’d like to coin the term ‘‘functional pain’’ if that isn’t already. Ha! The thing is, I’m not bedbound. Except sometimes when i am.. i need to take my muscle relaxers which don’t really help. So when doctors ask, “Are you able to complete daily tasks?” I always say yes. But the real answer is, I’m functioning, but I’m in pain the entire time. And that kind of answer usually doesn’t go anywhere in a medical setting. I don’t think they take it seriously or maybe they don’t know what to do with it.

on my worst days, it literally feels like a rod is down my spine and knives are sticking out. it feels heavy, like lots of pressure. and i literally can only move my torso if i want to look to the right. even as i type this blog post, i feel stiff and sharp pain. it’s awful. i have to tell my kids mom needs a rest day.

The thing about physical pain is that it also takes a toll on you mentally. it impacts my mood and makes even walking in the park unpleasant.

recently, I was referred to physical therapy, and I actually got some answers. My PT told me my lower traps were weak, so my upper traps were overcompensating and essentially working overtime to keep me upright. That made sense to me. The exercises have helped, but I knew this wasn’t just about muscle imbalances.

This was years of built-up stress. from toxic jobs, toxic relationships, a nervous system constantly on edge. This was about regulation, not just rehab.

What has helped me (so far):

• Stretching. Not random or rushed stretching, but slow, intentional movement — guided by breath and body awareness.

• 4:8 breathing. That long exhale does more than calm you down — it tells your nervous system that you’re safe, which is what actually allows your body to release.

• PT exercises. Strength still matters. Especially when you're trying to retrain your brain and body to stop defaulting into pain patterns.

• Self-massage. The kind that’s slow and intentional, not aggressive foam-rolling that leaves you sore for days.

I’m not pain-free, and to be honest, I might never be. But I’ve found ways to feel better. Ways to lessen the tension, ways to move through the day without feeling like I’m barely holding it together inside my own body.

Why I created Flexibend

I didn’t set out to create a brand. I just wanted to feel better.

But the more I leaned into stretching, mobility work, breathwork, nervous system awareness… the more I realized there’s a whole group of people like me. People who function but are still in pain. People who feel stiff and out of sync in their bodies. People who’ve been dismissed because they look “fine.” People who are tired of random fitness advice and just want something that helps.

Flexibend is for us.

It’s not performative. It’s not about being so flexible you’ll be able to do the splits although that’d be pretty cool. It’s not about contorting your body.

It’s about giving your body what it’s been asking for all along:
Relief. Regulation. Reconnection.

I’m not selling a cure. I’m sharing what’s helped me and What is still helping me.

If you’ve ever felt like your body is holding onto something it can’t quite let go of then maybe Flexibend is where you start.

FEel free to leave me a comment or message me if you’re feeling the same way. i’d love to connect.